Mother's Day (2016): Garry Marshall's Muddled Dedication to Mothers Becomes the Last Film to Define his Legacy

Two nights ago, my friend Kalene and I viewed Mother's Day (2016), the last film ever to be directed by the incomparable Garry Marshall before his death in July 2016. Why did we subject ourselves to such a cinematic travesty? There is a fairly simple explanation; we love Garry and Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson and Julia Roberts and...you get the point. One of the most common reasons to view a Garry Marshall film is the cast. Garry had a penchant for attracting the brightest of stars to be in his motion pictures, and that was because he himself was a bright beacon of chivalry and professionalism within the business. The enormous paychecks were also good incentives, I'm sure.

Anyway, I adored the last two pictures he had done, Valentine's Day (2010) and New Year's Eve (2011), yes you read that correctly, I enjoyed those films, and you know why? Again the answer here is fairly simple. These films were written and produced for the purposes of entertainment, and for me, that's, precisely, what they achieved, entertainment. Are they revolutionary pieces of filmmaking that will be discussed and studied by cinematic scholars for centuries to come? Hell no! They're just fun rom-coms here to tickle and delight us in times where the world can be such a dark and unsettling place to live, Garry gives us a world of hope and positivity, illuminated by the presence of A-List Stars of the silver screen. How often does one get to watch Halle Berry act with Robert De Niro or see Eric Dane play a homosexual in love with the American Sniper (2014) star himself? Garry's last two films reminded us not to take the world so seriously, just sit back and let the movie do what it's meant to do, entertain you. Many critics and audience members, in general, take these films far too seriously and give them scathing reviews as if they were attempting to be something other than what they are, cute ensemble romantic comedies. Now having read reviews on Mother's Day before watching it, Kalene and I were prepared, this was not going to be the same kind of film experience as the last two Garry Films we'd seen. One of the central reasons for this tonal change is with the screenwriter. Katherine Fugate had penned both Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve, while Mother's Day was handled by Tom Hines, Anya Kochoff Romano and Matt Walker. It's astounding it took THREE people to screw up a movie this badly. What is Mothers Day's worst offering? Is it the subpar acting, perhaps the subpar editing? Subpar is a word that should be so closely associated with this film; its definition should be imprinted on the back of the DVD cases before they are distributed to stores. Alas, the worst offering of this film is the one thing it isn't subpar at, being offensive! This film has so many racist undertones, overtones and in the middle-tones, it's astounding no hate group has used it as propaganda for recruitment.

Kate Hudson's subplot involves her having to tell her ultra-conservative Southern Parents that she has married and had a child with an Indian man! This would be a provocative, potentially enlightening plotline if it wasn't treated so poorly. The insults the parents give the husband when they meet are delivered like comedic gags while Kalene and I gasp, each feeling personally offended for the fictional characters on screen. Naturally, the parents turn their personalities around, especially after the police attempt to shoot their son in law BECAUSE HE IS BROWN! I'm serious, I couldn't make this up, but apparently, someone else could. The only semi-intriguing part of this plot is Kate Hudson arguing with her husband about why she kept her parents at such a distance in the first place, but even this scene doesn't go as far as it should in-depth or dimension.

 PS- This film uses the term "towelhead" at one point. Ew, double fucking ew.

The film is set in Atlanta. Kalene and I counted how many African Americans we found in a film set in a place with a relatively large Black Population. We counted nine, and none of them was central to the plot in any way, shape or form. They are mostly seen as cashiers, waiters, or obese women used to evoke comedy. This film is not set in Atlanta; it's set in some alternate Stepford version of Atlanta where all the women are on pharmaceuticals, do yoga and make parade floats in the shape of vaginas. What deluded dystopian society is this Garry? I liked the gritty but pretty Beverly Hills portrayed in Pretty Woman (1990) much better, and even Genovia felt more real than this! 

 PS- This film also uses the old "Dad has to buy tampons" shtick and practically plagiarizes the exact same scene from the film Mr. Mom (1983) in a much poorer fashion.

Jennifer Aniston's plot is the most pathetic, as she gets insanely and unjustifiably jealous of her ex-husband's young new Filipino wife, who does nothing but love and care for her children and treat Jennifer's character with respect and kindness. Oh, the horror! Jennifer meets single dad, Jason Sudeikis's character, who is a widower, apparently Jennifer Garner died fighting for our country. The two only have TWO scenes together, and we are supposed to assume they fall for each other and end up together. I say assume because the film ends abruptly with little resolution to this key plotline. We don't feel that Jennifer's character has really gone through any journey or character arc; the same goes for Sudeikis. Their characters end pretty much as they started, confused and conformed to their privileged high class (yet still miserable) white lives. 

Julia Roberts receives the briefest screen time, but her one confessional scene about how she gave up her child for adoption at birth is the film's closest attempt at substance and depth. Garry always left the best material for Julia, and even in this ridiculous piece of "art" she shines through the smears. 

Garry's films typically had a feel-good family vibe to them, even if some of the material was quite mature for younger audiences. He could make a fairytale out of real-life everyday scenarios. At the same time, he could make atypical situations feel relatable, like becoming princess of a country you'd had never heard of before. Garry created an atmosphere all his own with his films, and it sometimes brought out the best Hollywood had to offer in terms of comedy, romance and family drama. His last misguided outing with Mother's Day should not be a reflection of his past successful efforts in filmmaking. Mother's Day, the holiday itself, celebrates those who give life to a new creation, in that sense Garry was certainly a mother-like figure to Hollywood Cinema. We should be forever grateful for that - and rent Overboard (1987) instead of this garbage. 

 PS- The gag reel at the end is even SUBPAR!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service: The Top Secret, 007 Adventure

Having been a James Bond fan for most of my young life (I just turned 21, in June now I can legally have a martini, shaken, not stirred of course), I was baffled to discover some two years ago of George Lazenby's one-off turn as the charmingly deadly 007. My mother and father had often recollected memories to me of watching Connery, Moore and even Dalton dart across the silver screen saving the world and making love to gorgeous women. Still, even they had never seen or heard of the sixth film in this time-honored franchise. When playing the coveted Goldeneye video game with my older brother back in the day, he never leaned in and said; "You know Bond was married once?" It is criminally ironic that James Bond's most personal film is the one most systematically discarded by history. 

The reasons aren't hard to comprehend; however, if one looks closely enough. Bond films often rely on certain key points to guarantee success. This film lacks many of them.

• Lazenby was hardly an award-winning megastar; On the contrary, he was a male model turned actor. He lacked Connery's star power and his distinct style. He does triumph in one imperative department; however, vulnerability. Bond in this film must be more physically and emotionally vulnerable than ever before. Lazenby being less arrogant in his portrayal of the character, manages to evoke this in the necessary scenes.

• Diana Rigg portrays Contessa Teresa "Tracy" di Vicenzo as the films primary "Bond Girl", and she does not inhabit many of the clichés associated with the role. Tracy is fiercely independent, cunning, intelligent and has little interest in following the rules in a male-dominated world. Yes, she falls in love with Bond, but she makes him work for her love and more importantly, her trust. She is sexy on her terms, never to be exploited by Bond or any other man. Even when she is held hostage by Blofeld later in the film, she shows fortitude in place of fear. Tracy's name also has no hidden innuendo, which audience typically enjoys from a Bond Girl. To a true Bond, Fan Tracy is a gem, to the mass audience's she is forgetful and boring.

•  The film follows the book on which it is based very closely in plot and because so it retains a rather long run time; many of the scenes being used for character development and plot exposition, not typical for a Bond film. There are action sequences aplenty, but they take time to get to. 

•  The villain's evil scheme involves brainwashing beautiful young women from all around the world into poisoning food and water supplies of their respected countries. Let's be honest, there are no laser beams, volcanos or spaceships involved, who's really going to be interested in finding out if a bald man petting a cat spoils your potato crops?

• The film has no Bond Theme Song to market to the public, which is a shame. It does, however, have a great instrumental score that has certainly held the test of time.

Does OHMSS Deserve the Ambiguity it Upholds?

Honestly, no, I don't believe it does. This film is well-acted, fun, exciting and even emotionally gratifying at parts. It makes Bond appear as a three-dimensional character with flaws and issues. It puts him at stake's greater than just his life being in danger. We see him debating if this life of sex and death is really the one he wants to live forever. We are also subjected to some pretty exhilarating chase sequences on ice, with ski's and with cars! Many say that if Connery had starred in this film, it would be considered the Best Bond Picture. In my opinion, it doesn't need him to receive this high regard. I doubt if he could've played as well as Lazenby in the more emotionally driven scenes. I can watch this movie repeatedly because I get different things out of it with each viewing. It has much to offer, especially for a franchise that would go on to be riddled with predictability and a worn-out formula.

  

Diamonds Aren't Forever

It should be noted that had Lazenby chosen to remain as Bond for another film and this film had been received better by the public, Diamonds Are Forever (1971) would've been a direct sequel to the events of this film, with Bond seeking revenge on the villain for taking something truly precious from him (which I won't spoil for those of you that haven't seen OHMSS yet.) The film does have Bond going after Blofeld again (both characters played by different actors now), but the reason's for Bond's pursuit are never explicitly stated, unfortunately. Diamonds Are Forever turned out to be, in my opinion, one of the worst Bond films ever, with Connery giving a lackluster performance in a script riddled with mediocrity and bad jokes. Not to mention the first American Bond Girl, that made me feel that they should've kept using women from outside the U.S if Tiffany Case was how they were going to portray them. Hopefully, one day Bond will be given a full-fledged story again, and the Craig films seem to be handling continuity quite well. Until then On Her Majesty's Secret Service will continue to do its job in entertaining and enlightening me on what Bond is truly capable of when put at his personal and professional best.

Back To School!!!

                        

It's been a tradition of mine since about the 6th Grade to listen to this song the morning I get up for my first day of school. I have continued that tradition into my senior year of college, which begins today! While there is plenty wrong with Grease 2 (that's a whole different blog post though), this song is something the film most definitely got right. It's upbeat, bouncy and gets us ready for another rowdy and fun filled (if not, extremely flawed) year at Rydell High. The Four Tops give the song a certain punch and panache that is sorely missing from many of the other songs on this lackluster sequel's soundtrack. Plus the dancing is kind of infectious in this scene, not surprising considering the director of Grease 2 is the choreographer of Grease 1!

Back To School - Grease 2

Top 5 Reasons The Poseidon Adventure (1972) is my Favorite Film of All Time!

1. The Star-Studded Ensemble! 

Disaster films in the 1970's were famous for many distinct attributes, one of them being big named casts. These well-established actors and actresses would help bring depth and substance to the characters so that they would not be overshadowed by the film's grander aspects such as special effects or action sequences. In a proper disaster film like The Poseidon Adventure (1972), a good actor allows the audience to empathize with the character and therefore be invested in their literal or figurative survival. While many commonly point out Shelley Winters's award nominating performance as Belle Rosen, it is in my personal (fanboy) opinion that Stella Stevens is severely underrated in her portrayal of ex-prostitute and current wise-cracking wife of a cop Linda Rogo. Those who've read Paul Gallico's book, on which the film is based know that Linda is much harsher and negative in the book than she is in the film. Stella gives the character room to grow and be three dimensional not merely with dialogue, but visual character actions. Watch as she helps Nonnie (Carol Lynley) get up an upside down stairwell (albeit with a certain degree of impatient roughness) or how she dives into the water later in the film and gets her out quickly because she knows Nonnie cannot swim. These tiny actions amount a great deal because they exemplify what the characters in disaster films go through, a personal journey of self-discovery. When one is put in a disastrous scenario, their true nature comes to light. Linda may be flirty and mean spirited at times, but when push comes to shove, she was willing to help others survive.

2. The Set Design 

Practicality is not a word one hears in regards to special effects very often these days, and yet it is such an adequate word to describe the set design and special effects of The Poseidon Adventure. The lighting is eerie and macabre. The dirty, oil-stained set pieces make the bowels of the ship appear like---well the bowels of an aging luxury cruise liner. There is little "studio set-up" feel in the film, even though you know very well it's not being shot inside an actual cruise ship, with the exception of a handful of the film's opening scenes. The magnum opus set is without a doubt the Engine Room which truly looks like hell on earth, littered with raging fires, twisted metals and dead bodies. It is the most ideal setting for the intense finale the film draws us into during its third act. 3. The Special Effects Now, to the special effects. The Poseidon Adventure set the standard for practical, but safe special effect usage in disaster films. All of the water, fire and even the rotation of the ballroom during the capsizing is 100% real, with actors (for the most part) performing and engaging in their own stunts. A small percentage of films today even attempt this level of realism, mainly because studio and union liability laws have changed with the times. Still, the film feels more real because the actors are actually going through these sequences step by step, swim by swim, themselves and not just going through the motions like puppets in some dull street-side marionette performance. The film's weakest special effect and set-piece in a way is the repetitive shot of the boat during a series of explosions underwater. This shot is used throughout the film but gets a bit tiresome to the eyeball after a while. Even our favorite films can never be completely perfect.

 4. The Score 

Call me a sucker, but I enjoy a good film theme song and Maureen McGovern's "The Morning After" is just a stunner. It's emotionally wrenching without being overly melodramatic. It is grand and sweeping, but not overbearing like let's say, a wave crashing over a cruise ship! It also most certainly paved the way for Celine Dion's bombastic heart-gutting ballad "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic (1997). I'm guilty of singing both of these songs in and out of the shower countless times in the last ten years. The film's general score is also not to be missed. Violins are used prominently to evoke both suspense and somberness in the film's emotionally heavier scenes. The score takes us on this adventure just as much as the characters or special effects do. It compliments all of these other crucial elements by being present and effective, without sounding overstated or tedious to the ear. 

5. The Story 

Disaster films have always caught my eye not because of their dazzling action sequences or larger than life, casting choices, but because of what they stand for on a deeper symbolic level. Disaster films put groups of people, many of whom are strangers together in life-threatening situations and forces them to come together despite their odds and differences in order to survive. The Poseidon Adventure showed me at a young age (Middle School to be exact) that people are inherently good-natured at heart and have the capacity and willingness to fight for one another when the right situation calls for it. The Poseidon Adventure was a truly first of its kind in conveying this sort of humanistic message in the 1970's, and it is a message that still holds importance in today's world. A world where terrorist attacks and natural disasters are commonplace on a global scale. The Poseidon Adventure is my favorite film because it brings me through all the emotions, laughter, thrills, sadness and of course, excitement. It stands the test of time with its distinct filmmaking and storytelling techniques. While many of them have been copied and replicated to varying degrees of success since in the last few decades, it's important to remind ourselves where it all started, not on the SS. Minnow, but aboard the SS. Poseidon, and it has continued to stay afloat in relevance all these years thanks to the top-notch quality of filmmaking that went into splashing it onto the big screen, and not because Leslie Nielson was the Captain who didn't follow his guts when he should have. Still bitter about it, but then again, without that crucial lapse in judgment, we would not have been privy to this incredible journey into the morning after.

Florence Foster Jenkins: A Lesson in Humility, Love and the Power of Passion over Talent

It's only fitting that my first blog review be about Meryl Streep, an icon and powerhouse of grace and talent in her own right, ironically starring in a film as someone with little talent or iconography to their name. Florence Foster Jenkins (2016) is not simply a movie about "bad singing" nor is it a film that relies upon "good acting" rather Florence Foster Jenkins excels in the department of "Honest Storytelling."

Florence Foster Jenkins details the life and times of a wealthy American socialite whose love and passion for music and the arts far surpassed her abilities to perform in either of them. Jenkins was blessed with affluence and charm, but cursed with poor health and even poorer vocal nodules. However, that is not to say that her story is a tragic one. It is neither presented as a satirical tale of naivety or vanity, though Florence does display these qualities, her good nature overcomes the shallowness of these personality flaws. This is likely as a result of someone like  Streep playing her with subtly and tenacity aplenty. Florence's story is one of admirable strength and courage in the face of brutal harsh reality and even harsher critics. If one truly loves something, they must pursue it at all costs, even to the preposterous lengths of selling out Carnegie Hall for a private concert! 

In the film we find the flighty protagonist pursuing two things, love and music. Hugh Grant portrays St. Clair Bayfield, Florence's dedicated and long suffering husband with wit and charm that makes us both adore and deplore his choices and actions throughout the film. Despite his questionable fidelity, Florence stays with him, not because he is the perfect husband, but because he is the one that life gave her and she is determined to make the best of it, as she does with everything else.

While the film does call upon comedy to quell the audience into a calm state of socially acceptable hackling, you'll find yourself very much rooting for Florence near the film's climax. Why is this? Does her talent improve? Does her situation greatly alter? No, you'll find yourself rooting for Florence because you will discover that you have quite a bit of Florence in yourself, whether you are aware of it or not. Florence is an Id, all pleasure and goodness, with little consideration for what reality requires or constitutes as "quality". We all enjoy partaking in things we don't particularly excel at. Whether these things be singing, sporting or even riding a unicycle blindfolded while juggling old IPhones in your hands; we all have hobbies that disregard capabilities for sturdy validation. Florence never sung to prove anything to anyone, much like Meryl Streep in the last slew of films she's selected to star in recently. These are Projects of Passion, not necessity.

Florence performed for one person and one person only, Florence. At the film's conclusion we are reminded that the audience in our head is the one we are truly attempting to entertain, and we always succeed in that endeavor when we put on a smile and engage in the things that give our life meaning and joy. Being an audience member in this stellar period piece dramedy, I was reminded about how being the best matters very little, when you're being the best you, you can possibly be. It is with that message that the film allows Florence Foster Jenkins's voice to live on for many, many years to come.

Blog Introduction! Welcome Readers, Reviewers and All Around Film Buffs!

Hi! My name is Marco Amato and welcome to my brand new blog! Marco Watches It, Marco Means It. On here I'll be commenting, reviewing and discussing film and television that I find personally interesting or engaging. I'll post film reviews, editorials and even fan theories regarding my favorite films and television programs! I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback on my words so please do not hesitate to leave a comment! I'll give fair warning that while I am a writer, I also suffer from ADHD, so some blog posts may diffuse into rants, or diatribes before coming back to the main point. However, I feel this is commonplace for most film enthusiasts, in fact it's probably commonplace for most enthusiasts of anything, whether it be film, sports, BDSM, Pokémon, whatever! Most people who love something can't shut the fuck up about it. That's one of the main reasons I want to start this blog, to spare my family and friends from my restless mouth!

I am an aspiring screenwriter and firmly believe that in order to write for film, you must have an avid passion for watching, analyzing and understanding film's themselves. Of course, film isn't just about criticism, sometimes a good flick should accomplish nothing more than catching your attention and holding onto it for the whole runtime, however long it may be (*cough Mr. Spielberg *cough). Underneath all the symbolism, film noir and special effects, a film should entertain, because that is one of its fundamental values and purposes in this world.

I'll try my best to post as often as I can, God knows I watch enough film and television to discuss it on a semi-daily basis. I am so excited/nervous/anxious/aroused/terrified/aroused again to begin this journey into cyberspace. So with a bucket of popcorn and a cold beverage by my side, let's talk about the big screen, the small screen, and the middle man in it all, the audience member. Here, we, go!